He follows his wife around the house, ruminating about the baby's hearing and about the way deafness would ruin her life. All weekend he finds himself unable to open his briefcase and prepare for next week's work. It's all pulled out."The father takes the baby but gives her back to his wife as soon as he can. Here, hold the baby while I fix her blanket. We'll call the pediatrician first thing Monday. If that beautiful baby is deaf and it's my fault, I'll never forgive myself."'Hey, wait a minute," says the wife. Maybe it's because my grandfather was deaf. And all I know is that my baby doesn't hear a thing. "It doesn't even mention the other possibility, that the baby is deaf. Doesn't that make you feel better?"Not much," the father says. Your pediatrician can test your child's hearing neurologically.'"There," the mother says. The startle reflex and attention to sound often take some time to develop. She looks up "hearing" and reads out loud: " 'Don't be alarmed if your newborn fails to startle at loud noises or fails to orient toward sound. "Let's read what's in the baby book," she says. Her eyes don't even focus yet.""But there wasn't the slightest movement, even when you clapped as hard as you could."The mother takes a book from the shelf. "I mean, it's too soon to say a thing like that. "She's deaf.""No she's not," the mother says. Then she picks up the baby, who immediately perks up, wiggling and cooing."My God," the father says. Together they go into the nursery.She calls the baby's name, jingles the bell, claps her hands. "It's as if she can't hear.""I'm sure she's all right," the wife says, pulling her dressing gown around her. "She doesn't seem to respond to noise at all," he says. He finds his wife in their bedroom and tells her what just happened. The baby's eyes don't move.His heart has begun to beat rapidly. Her eyes don't move.He picks up a furry little toy attached to the rail of the bassinet and shakes it, ringing the bell it contains. His heart is overflowing with awe and gratitude for the beauty of her, the perfection.The baby opens her eyes and stares straight up.The father calls her name, expecting that she will turn her head and look at him. ITwo Ways of Looking at LifeTHE FATHER is looking down into the crib at his sleeping newborn daughter, just home from the hospital. To learn more about how and for what purposes Amazon uses personal information (such as Amazon Store order history), please visit our Privacy Notice. You can change your choices at any time by visiting Cookie Preferences, as described in the Cookie Notice. Click ‘Customise Cookies’ to decline these cookies, make more detailed choices, or learn more. Third parties use cookies for their purposes of displaying and measuring personalised ads, generating audience insights, and developing and improving products. This includes using first- and third-party cookies, which store or access standard device information such as a unique identifier. If you agree, we’ll also use cookies to complement your shopping experience across the Amazon stores as described in our Cookie Notice. We also use these cookies to understand how customers use our services (for example, by measuring site visits) so we can make improvements. Once you get into the habit of disputing negative beliefs, your daily life will run much better, and you will feel much happier.We use cookies and similar tools that are necessary to enable you to make purchases, to enhance your shopping experiences and to provide our services, as detailed in our Cookie Notice. Unlike dieting, learned optimism is easy to maintain once you start. But usually your negative beliefs are distortions. Sometimes the beliefs will turn out to be accurate when this is so, concentrate on the ways you can alter the situation and prevent adversity from becoming disaster. Anytime you find yourself down or anxious or angry, ask what you are saying to yourself. Practice disputing your automatic interpretations all the time from now on. The main tool for changing your interpretations of adversity is disputation. This means that if you change your mental response to adversity, you can cope with setbacks much better. Rather they issue directly from your beliefs about adversity. Emotions and actions do not usually follow adversity directly. You first saw the ABC link-that specific beliefs lead to dejection and passivity. “YOU SHOULD NOW be well on your way to using disputation, the prime technique for learned optimism, in your daily life.
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